he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my being single is dangerous.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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