So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
They took my balls.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize