love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
