Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
