brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
