is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
