And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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