I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
