I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
