The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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