I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
