Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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