11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
