How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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