At least make sure they are 18
Why
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
