He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
