is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
