I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
