worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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