Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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