Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
