just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
