Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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