the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
