i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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