I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
