just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I had to cum in my sink.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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