He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
