There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
