i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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