i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize