May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize