I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
