Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
