You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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