Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
