Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
what day is it and did you see me today?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
