i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
