I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Everything about him screamed your future.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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