I faked an abortion last night.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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