Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
