so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
