She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
