Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
