11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
