wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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