good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
