Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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