i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
