You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
