Are we in a gay sports bar?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
