hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
