yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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