I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
ok first of all what the fuck
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
