Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
