the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
