you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
