If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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