So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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